What Will you Give?

The third and probably the most destructive of the five steps in the grieving process is Bargaining. It is the most destructive because of what you are capable of doing or what you’re willing to give up during This stage, just to make everything “Okay” again or to even “see” them again. While you can get really aggressive with anger, and anti-social while in denial, Bargaining a word that literally means to negotiate the terms and conditions of a transaction, we aren’t talking about money.The question is what were bargaining for.

The author of Livestrong, Alexis Aiger. Talks about her own personal experience with grief such as how she ended up separating herself from people close to her and how she searched into the occult trying to find a way to get in touch with a personal friend she explains  what bargaining really is and gets more in depth as to how this stage can be very dangerous. While bargaining is characterized as the negotiation between you and a higher power like a God, making promises in hopes that they’ll listen and you’ll be able to regain your perfect world, Be it real or not. It can help with the healing process of acceptance, of not being given an answer to why things happened. However, this is also destructive because it can lead you exactly towards the other path, towards an evil essence. While bargaining can help you with the healing and acceptance, it can also mislead you into self-guilt. This said, Self-guilt can actually slower the healing process and can lead to depression and even a more complicated question. What could I have done better?

In my personal experience with bargaining, I decided that I wanted to see the kid, I considered my brother so I began to slowly drift into the occult, to dabble in things I wasn’t supposed to until I started to question my existence. Although I knew that It wasn’t my fault that he was gone, It felt like it was somehow my fault at that point. this eventually got so bad that I even considered suicide. I know it’s hard to face our problems head on but convincing ourselves that we might see them again or that things might be the same again isn’t healthy.

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